“I Am Going to Shop”惹出个什么英语笑话呢，大家一块来见证。
A Boy with a Big Head大头娃娃
A boy cried to his mother, "All the children make fun of me. They say I have a big head."
"Don't listen to them," his mother said, "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store to buy twenty pounds of patotoes."
"Where is the shopping bag?"
"I haven't got one-use your hat."
一个小男孩向他母亲哭诉道：“他们都取笑我，说我脑袋大。” “别听他们的，”他母亲安慰道，“你有一个很漂亮的脑袋。好啦，别哭了，去商店买十斤土豆来。”
“购物袋在哪儿?”
“没购物袋了----就用你的帽子吧。”
All Right 没关系
Hurrying my 11-year old daughter to school, I made a right turn at a red light when it was prohibited. Uh-oh, I said, realizing my mistake. I just make an illegal turn.I guess it's all right, my daughter replied, The police car behind us did the same thing.
我赶着开车将11岁的女儿送到学校去，在红灯处右拐了，而那是不允许的(译注:在一些国家如英国,其交通规则是车辆左行的,与我国相反)。啊噢，意识到犯了错误，我说。我刚才拐弯是违章的。我想那没关系的，女儿回答说：我们后面的警车也同样拐了弯。
第一次开出租车
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.
The driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."
乘客轻拍了一下出租车司机的肩膀，想问个问题。司机大叫起来，车也失去了控制，几乎撞上一辆公车，还上了便道，在还差几厘米就撞上商店橱窗时终于停了下来。
司机说：“伙计，别再这么干了。你把我吓破胆了!”乘客抱歉地说，“我没想到拍你一下就吓成这样。” 司机说：“对不起，也不全是你的错。今天是我第一天开出租，以前25年里我一直开殡葬车。”
我们分享一切
An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries.
一对老夫妇在汉堡王餐厅吃饭，他们小心翼翼地将汉堡和薯条分成两份。
A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.
一个卡车司机非常同情他们，就提议想给老太太单独点一份。
"It's all right," says the husband. "We share everything."
“没关系的。”老先生说，“我们分享一切。”
A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite.
几分钟后，卡车司机注意到老太太还没动口吃一点东西。
"I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal," he insists.
他再次对老先生说，“我真的不介意请您妻子吃一顿……”
"She'll eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything."
“她会吃的`，”老先生向他保证，“我们分享一切。”
Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, "Why aren't you eating?"
司机不太相信，恳求老太太，“你为什么不吃一点?”
The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"
老太太咂咂嘴，“我在等他的假牙。”
I Am Going to Shop 我要去购物啦
“Cash, check or charge?” I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
我帮来购物的女士包好东西后，问道：“是付现金、支票还是记账呢?” 当她找钱包的时候，我注意到她的包包里竟放着一个电视遥控器。
“Do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.
我问：“你一直都随身带电视遥控器的吗?”
“No,” she replied. “But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him.”
她回答说：“不是啦。但我老公不乐意跟我一起来购物，所以我决定拿走他的遥控器来惩罚他。”
