The word "resume" originates from the French, and means "to summarize." Damn French. Because of their stupid word, you now have to condense your entire lifetime onto one piece of paper, with the desperate hope that someone who reads it will instantly know what a great person you are and give you a high-paying Job.
But you, my friend, are completely misguided if you think that's what your resume will get you. The purpose of your resume is not to get you a job. "What?!" you say. "Years of classical conditioning have instructed me that if I write a good resume, I'll get a good job!" Sorry, but you've been had. The purpose of a resume is to get an interview, not a job. Once you get in the door, it's your winning personality and discussion of your lifetime of experiences that will get you the job. You could have the most brilliant resume in the world, but if you walk into an interview and do nothing but drool on yourself, that resume will be worthless (unless the job consists of massive drooling, or you are an actor portraying a 2-year-old). But drool no more, for today you will learn how to put together the perfect resume: one that will play up your experience, play down your liabilities and at least improve your chances at eventually acquiring your dream cubicle.
One footnote: We will be working under the assumption that you are either still in, or have recently graduated from, college. If you've been out in the real world (or sleeping on your mom's couch) for more than a couple of years, this all still applies to you. The only main difference is that you'll have to talk more about your work experience, whereas recent college grads can add stuff like school activities to their resumes.
Tailor the Resume to the Job
Phew! By now, you've finished making your Fat List, and you're ready to tackle actually writing the resume. The first thing to do is to see what the job you're applying for is like. Every resume you send out should be tailor-made for that exact job. As convenient as it can be to just make one resume, mass-copy it and throw it from the rooftops hoping an eccentric millionaire will pick it up, effective resumes are written specifically for the person or company to whom you are sending them.
The biggest tip we can give you is this: Put your best assets as close to the top of the resume as possible. This might be your education, or if you've been out of school for a little while (two or more years), your employment history. But keep in mind that your resume will not be looked at for more than 30 seconds, and no one's going to start reading at the bottom of the page. Now, the kind of job for which you are applying may affect what your "best assets" are. So what you need to do is pick the optimal resume format.
Of course, your resume will have all of the important pieces of information that all good resumes should have: your name at the top, your contact information, and different sections that clearly label your education, work experience, skills and possibly college activities. Many resumes will mesh or separate work experience in creative ways, but as far as pure information is concerned, these are the basics. But to make sure that your resume is tailored to your prospective employer, make sure the resume format you use is the most effective one. The three most common are the chronological resume, the functional resume and the curriculum vitae. Others may call these styles by different names, but you'll recognize that each has particular strengths, depending on what you've done with your life.
